Blog 2: Electric Blogaloo

It is a struggle to find the right balance for a piece of writing - how serious or humorous; how personal or anonymous; how down to earth or whimsical. My first post was filled with outrageous shenanigans, so today, I will bounce away from the humorous and whimsical to a more serious and personal tone.

I want to murder a lot of people.

I feel that I can safely blame it on (the rain... yeah yeah... - shout out to Milly Vanilly fans) this cold. And when I say 'cold', I mean 'the sickness wherein my body attempts to separate itself by means of coughing and hacking parts of me through my throat and sinuses; to say nothing of the headaches and fatigue that this creates'. While spending the last few days as a quarantined shut-in has been super, I felt like I needed to get some supplies today.

Mustering up every ounce of strength and sanity I had left, I promptly... got a ride with my mom to the local Safeway. Shut up; I'm sick. The actual shopping part was not so bad, as the aisles are nearly empty during the day proper. The real challenge came at checkout time.

Naturally, there were exactly 3 aisles (of 12) open. Scratch the express lane, and I had to make a choice between seemingly similar lines. I chose... poorly.

For whatever reason, the people in front of me had their 11 or so items (why they didn't go to the express lane boggles my mind slightly) spread across the entirety of the conveyor belt. Which shouldn't be a problem, except that the cashier wasn't using the belt. He was just reaching out to grab stuff. Until my realization, I was upset at the couple in front of me. Then I discovered the nature of my true enemy: Register Jockey Stretch Armstrong.

In my dazed state, I decided not to say anything for fear of it sounding like the ramblings of a mad man. Hence the blog post.

So, I hand Mr. Armstrong my reusable bags; not because I care about the environment, but because they are easier to carry on the bus and whatnot; and he goes to work. Slowly. S l o w l y . Maybe it was some combination of the symptoms, but it felt like it took him half an hour to bag 2 bags. Reaching over the belt to pick up the next random item he decides belongs in next. Two or three tries to scan it. Slowly placing it in the bag. Side note- in what universe do you put bananas in the bag at the near bottom?

Anyways, all of this is to say that I finally have some NyQuill (and DayQuil). Capital N, little y, big fuckin Q.

This was slightly longer (and more boring) than I had hoped it would be. Here's a picture of a bear to compensate:

Side note 2: Which bear is best?

Share and enjoy!

Day 1: You awaken on an island. There is a broken boat beside you...

It's finally happened.

I've been waiting for this, teasing, hoping, wishing, dreaming for it to happen. After so long, growing weary with anticipation. But this dog's day has finally arrived.

I have begun my epic blogquest.



Also? Em Effing Double Down Time. Bitches.

In honor of my blog, I am consuming a handheld heart attack. "Ha ha ha ha" he hollered, hands held high in the heat of his home. Sorry, I sometimes vomit alliteration.

So I'm not really a fan of this color scheme, but what can you expect? They asked me to pick a template, these were the names of the choices:

• Simple
• Picture Window
• Watermark
• Ethereal
• Travel
• Awesome Inc.

What did they think I would pick?

Update: They didn't wrap this double down in a wrapper. Which I think is needed. Because, you know, the grease and whatnot.

Still, its pretty dang delicious.

You hear a noise ahead of you from behind the bushes. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Obvious exits are NORTH and WEST.

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